TNA Impact Review 3/29/12

TNA Impact Review 3/29/12

Note: Since Wrestlemania 28 is this weekend, TNA is not going to put any effort in their show tonight. I hope they do but if they don’t, I won’t be surprise. I cannot wait for them to get the hype over with and make Hogan the new GM. Also there is not a lot going to happen but I want to be surprised. Here’s TNA Impact……

Opening Segment: Bobby Roode comes out and he's surrounded by security. He rips into Dixie Carter and Sting before talking about Lockdown, guaranteeing a win over James Storm. Storm comes out but the security stops him from attacking Roode. Bully Ray comes from behind and lays out Storm. Ray and Roode vs. Storm is made for later tonight.

(I am still utterly disgusted that Bully Ray is still in the main event. This lazy fucker is a good tag team wrestler but not a singles wrestler. I guess he had to do something for Hogan and Bischoff to be in the main event. I will let it go. Bobby Roode is getting better as a heel. He’s showing signs of Triple H back in the day. Their match is going to be great at the next PPV. I hope Bully Ray don’t fuck it up. )

Match#1: Velvet Sky vs. Madison Rayne

Winner: Velvet Sky

(I want to apologize for my comments of this match. I am going to sound like a horny teenager. I tried to watch this without thinking about sex but when I see these women, it is not easy to call the match without looking at boobies and asses. Unlike WWE, these women are both wrestlers and divas. I say all these things as I try to be objective. Ok, now that I made my joke of the night, let me be real. These women can wrestle and it was a quick and short match. I like TNA women wrestlers. )

In The Ring: Austin Aries comes out and talks about Bully Ray stopping the X Division match last week. Aries is put in the match with Storm vs. Ray and Roode later tonight.

(I found it funny that Austin Aries stood up to Bully Ray. What he did last week was the dumbest thing I saw in TNA. Dumber than seeing CM Punk as a blonde and dumber than seeing a woman mind fuck another woman. I am glad to see Austin move up to the main event. )

Match#2: Matt Morgan and Crimson brawled all the way to the back.

(So why are these guys fighting? No one really cares. Both these guys have zero charisma. It is like watching white bread fight a saltine cracker. This might put me to sleep. I don’t care because these guys have nothing to add to TNA except there are big men. We all know that eventually Crimson will lose. )

Match#3: Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy

Winner: Mr. Anderson by DQ thanks to Angle

(Why was this match booked? These guys are good but they don’t have any real reason for this match to happen. What’s worse is that Kurt Angle is still feuding with Jeff Hardy. Why? Moving on now….. )

In The Ring: Eric Bischoff calls out his son Garett and they talk. Gunner vs. Garett is on for Lockdown.

(This is so lame! Gunner needs some competition. The Bischoff family feud needs to end and we need to move on. No more comments on this. )

Main Event: James Storm and Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode and Bully Ray

Winners: Storm and Aries

(At first, this would not be a main event but I like that both champs were in this match. Even though Aries is a heel but he turned face to get back at Bully Ray. Storm/Roode is going to be a good title match at the PPV but as for this match, it might be something most people did not think to see. It was a good match to see even though come next week, Bully Ray is going to want to be in the main event.  )

Closing Segment: Dixie Carter calls out Hulk Hogan to end the show. Dixie talks about the new authority role and how she wants Hogan to take it since Sting stepped down. Hogan doesn't seem interested and out comes Sting with some of the TNA babyface wrestlers. Sting puts over Hogan and talks him into accepting the job. Hogan is the new man in charge in TNA.

(Don’t really care because I don’t think wrestling needs an authority figure on TV. We all know who makes the deicisions. WWE is Vince and TNA is Dixie. This was pointless because either Hogan will turn heel again or he will get involved with someone sooner than later. This was lame to end the show with. The tag team match should have ended the show.)

Final Thoughts: This was not what I hoped but it was better than nothing at all. Most of these matches were just to get the feuds set. There are so many old wrestlers in TNA that want to be in the title hunt but the young kids are left in the fucking wind. Hogan is back on TV. Bischoff is back on TV. Dixie is lame as an actress. And Sting is a joke now. So why do I watch TNA, to maybe see a good women’s match and the X Division. So I guess I will watch for that. I got the feeling that most of Smackdown is hype  for Wrestlemania so until then, see you for Smackdown.

Gene The Grappler