Editor Note: This is not going to be an April Fool's edition of Gene The Grappler because the reality is that the following was a joke in itself. So sorry guys, maybe next year.
Note: This is the final WWE Raw show before Wrestlemania. If you look at the card for this PPV, you will see a lot of repeat matches and also some shitty matches. I think four hours is too fucking long for this PPV. However, with all the concerts and free publicity this PPV is getting, I question if this is the super bowl of WWE or the shittiest thing ever. So let's see what WWE Raw will bring to the table.
Opening Segment: John Cena comes out to give the speech of all speeches to convince people he will beat The Rock at Wrestlemania.
(As a fan of WWE, I think this shit was pointless. I say that because we all know that Cena is going to win and we will see business as usual. This was pointless to me because I am not a fan of Cena and not a fan of the shit with the WWE title. This is going to piss me off because we go from a part time champion to a hated champion. )
Match#1: Big Show, Sheamus, and Randy Orton vs. 3MB
Winner: Big Show, Sheamus, and Randy Orton
(All this match did was to promote the match with Big Show, Sheamus, and Randy Orton vs. The Shield at Wrestlemania. 3MB was basically a jobber faction. The match was boring and bullshit. The confrontation was textbook. Moving on because this match and the build up will be a clusterfuck.)
Match#2: Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler
Winner: Dolph Ziggler
(This is going to be an interesting match for the PPV and this was an interesting match to see. We saw both Big E. Langston and Kane get involved. This was a good clusterfuck because at least this has a title in the mix. This match at the PPV with Team Hell No and Ziggler and Big E might be interesting because Ziggler could be a triple crown champion by the end of Wrestlemania. Yes, I hope that Ziggler takes the WHC and the tag titles. )
Match#3: Wade Barrett vs. Zack Ryder
Winner: Wade Barrett
(The Miz was out at the commentating table while this match was going on. We learned that the IC title match will be on the preshow that will be on before the PPV. This match was pointless because WWE hates Zack Ryder. WWE also hates the IC title. Why is this title being used like a piece of tissue? I am so fucking pissed with WWE fucking up the mid card titles. )
Match#4: Santino Marella vs. Mark Henry
Winner: Mark Henry
(Santino pulls a April Fools prank on Vickie and Brad Maddox. He pisses them off and we get this match. Henry wins but we see Ryback. All I will say is that this match should be good but at the same time, this match will become a colossal clusterfuck because Henry cannot wrestle and Ryback is one of Vince's wet dreams. This might be interesting.)
Match#5: Alberto Del Rio vs. Zeb Coulter
Winner: ADR by DQ
(Ok, this was horrible. I think WWE is running out of ways to make this match credible. This could have been written better. I hate that this is going to be more reality based then what it is now. This was a pointless match. Plus we still have Smackdown and holy shit that might make this feud go from bad to worse.)
Match#6: Chris Jericho vs. Antonio Cesaro
Winner: Y2J
(Where to beging on this fucking match? I will talk about Y2J later. Cesaro is the U.S. champion but he has no match. What the fuck is up with that? Also why is he getting a pass for not getting a feud or a title challenger? The IC title is being the title to showcase the preshow but the U.S. title is not. This is some shitty booking for this title. Cesaro as a champion is a joke. The wrestler is not a joke but the booking for him is shitty. As for Y2J, he must have asked to work with Fandango because their match is a fucking joke. I think I get the connection with this match. Y2J was on Dancing with the stars. Fandango is suppose to be dancer. I hope Y2J wins because if Fandango wins, I might puke.)
Match#7: Bella Twins vs. Cameron and Naomi
Winners: Bella Twins
(WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! You have gotta be shitting me? So this was the shittiest match ever on WWE Raw. Why? Since when does Brodus Clay's dancers wrestle? Also I know the Bellas are fucking with Cena and Daniel Bryan but they should have stayed away. Also why is are we about to see the mega clusterfuck of a match with both men and women? )
Main Event: Confrontation with Undertaker and CM Punk
(This whole segment basically showed how to setup a good match and feud. We heard from Taker and CM Punk. We saw the deception of CM Punk using one of Taker's grand entrances. Plus having Paul Heyman come out as the late Paul Bearer was the best heel thing ever. This was classic to say the least. Thank you WWE for at least making this ending good.)
Final Thoughts: Well the ending was classic and cool. However, the rest of the show was different shades of shit. Wrestlemania is suppose to be the best PPV of WWE and the super bowl of wrestling. This is not going to be that PPV because this is mostly matches and feuds put together at the last few weeks. Even the repeat matches of Cena/Rock and Triple H/Brock is looking to be waste of time. We all know that Taker is going to lose and CM Punk is going to get that push he needs to be better than Cena. The mid card is fucked. See you all for TNA Impact......God I need a drink.
Gene The Grappler
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