WWE Raw Review 3/25/13

Note: This has been the longest gap between PPVs ever in WWE. Only between February and April, we get to wait over a month to see Wrestlemania. This wait has been long ad boring because the matches get shittier and dumb. So now we are only two weeks from finally getting through Wrestlemania 29. I mean last year was long and boring but this is just plain long and dumb. So I hope we will get some more build up to matches that will fill the middle of the PPV. So here's WWE Raw and let's see what we will get.

Opening Segment: CM Punk with Paul Heyman hype up the match with Undertaker. He comes out with the urn. He plays with the urn. He says his peace and calls out Taker. Taker comes out to beat up CM Punk but thanks to Heyman, he still have the urn.
(Good news is that this match will be epic. More good news is that we will not get disappointed with this match. Even better news is that this match is not a sequel and we know will not see this match repeated next year. Taker is going to lose and we will see the retirement of Taker.)

Match#1: Chris Jerricho vs. Dolph Ziggler
Winner: Y2J
(First, this was suppose to be a Fandango match. Thank god Y2J came to beat him up. Also thank god for changing the match. This was a very good match. We all know that Y2J is a better teacher for the business. Both men can wrestle and make a good match. This was good for an opening match. Big E got involved after the match. Basically a good way to start the show.)

Match#2: Mark Henry vs. The Uso
Winner: Mark Henry
(This was to make Mark Henry look like a beast. He is a legitimate beast. He can powerlift over 500lbs. This was pointless because we all know that Herny is hurt and also this match with Ryback is a joke. Moving on........)

Match#3: Alberto Del Rio vs. Antonio Cesaro - Champion vs. Champion Match
Winner: Antonio Cesaro by countout.
(This was a slow match. We have seen it before. Thank god they change the ending to make it more easier to deal with. Thank you Swagger and Coulter for distracting ADR. Thank you RR for being the hapless sidekick. My god, thank you Cesaro for being the punching bag after RR was reinjured by Swagger. So this is a win win for me to watch this match.)

Match#4: Team Hell No vs. Prime Time Players
Winners: Team Hell No
(This was a good tag match. No real fuck ups here. We did see Ziggler and Big E come out during the match. This was a good tag match to see the teams do some damage. Also this was to hype up the match at PPV with Team Hell No and Ziggler and Big E. Moving on........)

Match#5: Wade Barrett vs. The Miz
Winner: The Miz
(This was going to be a boring match. Thank you god for small miracles. Triple H takes out Wade before the match because he disrespects the COO of WWE. The match was good and did do the job of a typical mid card match. We were entertained and we did see something end cleanly. Thank you for this rare gem.)

Match#6: The Shield vs. Zack Ryder, The Great Khali, and Justin Gabriel
Winners: The Shield
(No comment because this was a waste of time. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!)

Match#7: Rhodes Scholars vs. Brodus Clay and Sweet T. (Tensai)
Winners: Rhodes Scholars
(Bad news is that we had to see this fucked up match. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! However, we did see some a good chick fight. Thank you Bellas and Cameron/Naomi.)

Match#8: Ryback vs. 3MB
Winner: Ryback
(Mark Henry killed two guys. So Ryback took on three jobbers. Hype for their match. But seriously, WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!)

Match#9: AJ Lee vs. Kaitlyn - Non Title Match
Winner: AJ Lee by Countout
(I am going to be honest with you all and say we got fucked out of a good match. We want to see these women at Wrestlemania but we all know that Vince hates the Divas. This is the dream match we want to see. This is the match that will make men fap all night long to. We want to see good matches and this would be the best damn chick match of the present decade. Book this fucking match Vince..........)

Main Event: Rock vs. Cena Debate
Host: Jerry Lawler
HOF Panel: Dusty Rhodes, Booker T., Bret Hart, and Mick Foley
Winner: The Rock
(This was basically a question and answer panel but the questions were good. Bret Hart compares this feud with his feud with Shawn Michaels. This was a good way to hype up their match. We saw that The Rock won by Rock Bottom because he called Cena out. This was the longest closing segment ever on WWE Raw. This lasted close to 11:30pm. Good way to end the show.)

Final Thoughts: Well the end save this show. However, the dream match of the divas were teased. This was not a shitty show but then again, having Ryder on a team that was going to job to The Shield was the low point of the night. Also having Ryback and Mark Henry kill jobbers was sad and pathetic. So I am off to bed. I will see you all for TNA Impact and let's hope Bully Ray don't share another story about him screwing the fans.







Gene The Grappler